Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Slow down my heart

Lazy mornings. Playing outside. Grilling good food. Watching baseball. Blowing bubbles. Planting herbs. All these things and more are reminding me to slow down and look around. I've felt a lot of stress lately. I say there is no reason because I have nothing important to do. Like a work deadline. Important meeting to prepare for. People waiting for me to do something. Making some huge decision affecting others lives. You know "important stuff" that normal people stress about every day. I have none of that so I should just chill right?  

Of course I do have two little lives that demand my attention 24/7 and rely on me for all their daily needs. Every decision I make affects every aspect of their current and possibly future lives. I have to plan menus and shopping trips. Maintain vehicle maintenance on both cars and fix most things that break in the house and around it on a daily basis. No important stress right?  Ha. 

But the reality is I can do this!  I need to occasionally reorganize how I manage and deal with the demands. I have to worry about writing blogs and finally trying to write a serious one while my daughter constantly interrupts to tell me about her current adventure with Flynn Ryder and the fishies in the creek!  That never happens!  (Hint:  it's happening NOW)

I love my life. I don't regret anything. But sometimes I find myself overwhelmed. This happens for several reasons every time. 1- I'm not talking to God about it. Or them. Yep. Easy enough. I need his help. I should ask his help. I have a lot of responsibility and let's face the truth:  I don't want to screw it up for any of us!  2-  I'm not spending real time with my babies because I'm focusing too much on tasks and chores. Yep. I get in my own way most of the time. 3-  I'm not taking care of myself. Seriously not eating right or sleeping well or working out. Nothing. I say this is because I don't have time and must put them first. The truth is it's just easier. Until I find myself in a fuzzy tunnel of madness. 

So these days I'm trying to eat better. Sam might be a bit fussy because I'm not feeding him at this second but he will have to wait patiently. I'm taking tasks one at a time. For now that is gonna be me creating a list and choosing one extra something to be done a week. "Extra" as in not normal household chores. I've been focusing for a bit on this as a daily thing. That's not gonna happen. I'm being there for my babies. This means putting my phone down a lot more than I already do. And trying to see the ways my daughter is exactly like me. Then I can see why she is behaving like she is. Oh and breathing.   For times when it gets too much I have essential oils to calm me down. Ha. 

I don't want to miss them. Sam is almost a year!  Wow!  
Life goes by too fast for stress. 


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