Thursday, April 18, 2013

Time for baby

My poor baby girl. I feel bad. I'm assuming everyone goes through this but I'm pregnant and just not able to do as much as before. With her Daddy working so much I can understand her being mad at me. Every time she asks me to do something that I just can't I can see the disappointment in her face. I can see why kids rebel a bit, progress backwards a bit or just change when there is another baby one the way. Not only is the house abuzz with new things coming in and lots of conversations and attention to things that she doesn't understand. There is also the conversations about her "new room" and how much work she is going to have to do to help mommy when the baby comes.

No wonder when I ask her to name the boy she just says "how about baby brother for now?"  Or why she's says she doesn't want to feel him kick. I know she is excited about some things. She is excited about her new big girl room, but on the other hand I'm constantly reassuring her of what things she will take with you. "I'm making the baby a new blanket, darling. You can keep yours". She wants to make sure her favorite toys are going with her as well as her lamp, music, books, etc. so funny. I have never threatened to take her things. But she knows she is losing her room and can't seem to see that is different than the things in her room.

I can only imagine what she is thinking. I had hoped to have her big girl room ready by now so she would have time to adjust and  see how amazing it is. But just like when she was born, my hopes aren't my reality and the kid might just be tossed up there a few days before the biggest change inher little life so far happens. My heart breaks for her stress. For her confusion. For her reality shaking that is going on right now. But I know she will have no memory of this. She will only know that she has this fun baby brother to play with, to mother, to love.

I was the same age when my sister came into the world. I have no memory of when or how it happened. To me, she was just always there. I hope that is how she will remember this time. It actually makes the mommy in me sad that she probably will have no memory of life with just me and her.  Early in my pregnancy I was super emotional about this and even spent a whole day crying (hormones). It's just been such a life changing time for me and something so precious I will never forget it. So knowing she will makes me a little sad. But all things work as they should.

And I'm happy that I will always have these memories of the time with just me and my girl and how she shook my world.  I will be forever changed and am thankful. Here's to anticipating the next big change in my life.

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